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Being a Servant leader is about listening with intimacy. Pink (2012) writes, “Listening without some degree of intimacy isn’t really listening. It’s passive and transactional rather than active and engaged” (p. 191). When we shift our focus to listening intentionally, we begin to hear things we used to miss. Servant leadership and listening go hand in hand which is why listening is a core value of my leadership philosophy. As a Servant leader, I cannot serve others authentically when I’m not listening. Sipe & Frick (2009) write, “Servant-leader listening takes commitment. It requires listing to one’s self-first, and nurturing an emerging complexity of integration” (p. 5).  Graduate school has taught me that is critical to cultivate time for silence. Sardello (2008) writes, “The comfort that appears when we pray within silence is powerful…We feel held by a completely loving and understanding presence, which has the power of removing fear” (p. 119).

When we listen-first, we open up the door for meaningful dialogue, one that creates powerful and transformational experiences in all of our relationships (Steiger, 2010, p. 2). Servant-leadership is a lifelong journey, and listening is vital to making this journey a success. As expressed in my philosophy and throughout ImagineCreateServe, I value Ubuntu. Holding Ubuntu as a core value, I have learned to adopt a capacity for deep, empathetic listening. Burley-Allen (1995) writes, “At this level, listeners…are aware and in the present moment; acknowledging and responding; not letting oneself be distracted; paying attention to the speakers total communication… the overall focus is to listen from the heart” (p. 14). I take with me the presence I have learned to cultivate through my daily yoga practice and strive to be fully present when listening to others. I make the conscious effort to bring Ubuntu to my listening, which enhances my ability to listen empathetically from the heart.  While I have learned to adopt the capacity for empathetic listening through cultivating silence and Ubuntu, I still have room for improvement. I must learn to make this level of listening sustainable. While listening from the heart helps me to stay non-judgmental, I must learn to continue to bring Ubuntu to moments of conflict through having an open-mind. I need to remind myself constantly to not fall into debate when I disagree with someone. I need to learn to recognize that I don’t have to agree with the perspective of another to communicate with care and concern. Resisting the urge to voice my opinions is something I need to work on. The largest roadblock to my ability to sustain deep, empathetic listening are external distractions. When I make it my mission to be aware and unconcerned with these distractions, I can effectively practice the deep, empathetic listening, I know I am capable of. By resisting the distraction of outside noise and my inherent urge to engage in conflict, I will be able to practice generative listening.

As highlighted in my proposal, I serve as the program lead for Boeing’s Premier Business leadership development program, the Business Career Foundation Program (BCFP). As I write my posts for ImagineCreateServe each day, I am simultaneously planning for the BCFP Capstone Seminar, which is a major component of my Graduate school capstone project. In my proposal, I talk about on of my Servant leader mentors, Kevin. Kevin has supported me throughout this journey. So far, I’ve been able to meet with him twice. In our first meeting, I introduced my high level outline for the seminar. Kevin listened empathetically to my vision. He could sense how much this project meant to me. The second time I met with him, he helped guide me through how a successful workshop is designed. What was so incredible is how fully engaged Kevin was, and how I, in response, felt served. This week I had another opportunity to learn from Kevin by shadowing him as he facilitated an Emotional Intelligence course. Listening was essential during the workshop. Not only did shadowing Kevin for two days allow me to deepen my awareness of facilitation, it allowed me to understand how I could incorporate my graduate school work into the BCFP Capstone Seminar. Shadowing Kevin during this 2 day workshop required me to listen intentionally and be fully present. The BCFP Capstone Seminar celebrates the end of the BCFPs time in the program as they go onto their full time roles outside of the rotation program. It’s my hope that this seminar can inspire them to bring their best version of themselves to work each day by allowing them to reflect and connect with their cohort for one final time. In order to achieve such a goal I must continue to listen intentionally to the feedback from my mentors as I continue to plan the seminar in the upcoming weeks. This will require me to continue to cultivate silence so I can be fully present throughout this wonderful and challenging adventure.

Food for Thought:

1. What is your experience of Servant leader listening?
2. How do you cultivate silence in your daily routine?
3. When have you chosen to listen-first? To what degree did that decision allow you to engage in meaningful dialogue?